I remember a coworker who used to work for the internet company telling me that there was actually just one speed of internet service, and they had to deliberately throttle that speed in order to charge a premium for the "high speed" option. The flamingo made me recall this story. Within the first 24 hours, I got the strong impression that every detail at this hotel was coordinated, and deliberately set to be absolutely average.Check in was lengthy. About 30 minutes to service about 10 parties when we arrived, since there was only 1.5 counters open (one regular & one "vip") & the check in lady was curt & rolled her eyes at my son when he asked for a room with a strip view.The house keeping staff were friendly, but I have no idea when the last time the room had been vacuumed was. There were linen threads everywhere, and the dark carpeting only camofloged the obvious liquid stains. The carpet was also unevenly glued (air pockets in some spots), and there were finger prints all over the bathroom mirrors.The room (and hotel itself) was dated with no bathtub (obviously), and cheap furnishings. The ceilings of the corridors were low, and the floors slanted. The mandatory $40/night resort fee only includes WiFi for two devices, and the charge to connect the computer so my son could submit his homework was an extra $14.99 for one day of access (we only connected 3 devices on that one day, obviously!)Two of the mornings we stayed here, they had a problem with the alarms going off. It was rather obnoxious. The absolute worst thing about this hotel for me though, was the smell. It smells like trashy highly concentrated arm and hammer floral carpet deodorizer. It's nauseatingly awful.The fan in our room was loud, and whenever I tried to adjust the thermostat, it would revert back to it's default settings within 20 minutes. The bed mattress was comfortable, but the bed comforter was plastically, & did not breathe well, and every morning i woke up in cold sweats. Also, we did get our "strip view," but visibility through the windows is highly obstructed from the gawdy Donnie and Marie decal you have to peer through.One thing I do like about this hotel is the bird habitat. It is beautiful, and the birds, fish, and turtles are adorable. I like that it doesn't cost extra to access, and it is 100x more humane and less upsetting than that awful animal Guantanamo they run down at the Mirage! The pool also looked beautiful, and had we visited during it's open season, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it. The possibility that the pool is actually as nice as it seemed to be is the only explanation I can come up for why this hotel would be rated a baffling 3.5 stars, & not just 3.All in all, I did not enjoy the flamingo. It has a way of nickel and diming everything out of you while still reinforcing to you that you are a worthless cheapskate who doesn't deserve nice things. Even Excalibur and Circus Circus seemed like better 3 star hotels--like, they seemed like they were trying to do their best given their dated facilities; Flamingo felt like it was deliberately setting the service bar low to shame you for not spending more on one of the Ceasar chain's nicer hotel's. Maybe MGM is just a better chain, though.This hotel would've been good enough for me back when I was in my early 20s and only needed from a Vegas hotel, a place to puke and black out in between parties. At 37 years old, though, my standards are a little bit higher, & I wouldn't go back.
